Resting

The past couple of weeks, neigh, the past few months, have been a struggle. Well, Ok if I'm going to be really honest the last year has been rough. As a small business owner, as a wife, as a mother, as a christian, as a person, life has been a little rough. I really can't and shouldn't complain because I know that life really can be and is much rougher that how I have it but from my point of view it's been hard. In a nutshell, the certainty I once experienced in all areas of my life have been shaken away from me. I have been pushed to the brink of all that I thought I knew. I have looked into the dark abyss of uncertainty. I can't stand it here any longer. I can't make my circumstances change and not for lack of trying. But after all this struggle of trying, of pushing, of screaming I have come to the conclusion that I can't do it. I just can't. I will go insane if I keep trying. So I will rest. Rest in the Lord. Rest and trust that He knows. Rest and try as I may to believe that He will care for me. Rest. Day by day it is and will be a struggle, a struggle with my circumstances or a struggle to give in to God. And maybe one day I can just simply rest without the struggle of wanting control.